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10 Massage Questions You Might Be Embarrassed To Ask

woman holding her hands over her face embarrassed

Am I supposed to tip?

If you get a massage at a spa or hotel, a 15% to 20% tip is standard if you were pleased with the services. On the other hand, there are no real ground rules or norms when it comes to massage in a medical setting. If you’re not sure, don’t be afraid to ask if tipping is customary. You can call ahead to ask if you don’t want to do it face to face. If tipping isn’t the norm, you can always show your appreciation by referring friends, family, and co-workers to the massage therapist.

Am I supposed to take off my underwear?

Many people prefer to keep their panties or briefs on during a massage, while others prefer to be completely nude. It’s up to you. If your problem areas are your lower back, hips, buttocks, or groin, tight-fitting underwear can sometimes get in the way of massage work, but a thong for women or briefs for men should do the trick. In North America, if you do remove your underwear, licensed massage therapists must ensure that you are always properly covered by a sheet or towel. Only the area being massaged will be uncovered.

What if I realize I’ve drooled?

Many people fall into a peaceful slumber during the massage but when they wake up, they notice a pool of drool on the pillow or massage table. This is very common. It often happens when people are being massaged while lying face down on the massage table. Don’t be afraid to ask the massage therapist for a tissue.

Will the massage therapist be there when I undress?

In North America, the massage therapist will leave the room so that you can remove your clothing and lie on the massage table (usually face down) under the top sheet.

Don’t rush or worry that the massage therapist will walk in on you — the massage therapist knocks and asks if you are ready before entering the massage room.

Should I talk during the massage?

Although some people prefer to talk throughout the massage, don’t feel like you have to make conversation with the massage therapist. After all, you’re having a treatment, you’re not at a cocktail party! Feel free to close your eyes and relax, which is what most people do.

Deep tissue massage and sports massage are just some of the types of massage that require more feedback. The massage therapist often works on deeper layers of muscle and will want to ensure that the pressure is not uncomfortable.

Be sure to speak up if:

  • The room is too hot or too cold
  • You experience pain
  • You have any questions related to the massage
  • There’s anything you forgot to mention during the consultation

What if I get an erection?

Some men avoid massage therapy because they worry that they’ll get an erection. Or they get the massage but are unable to relax during the massage because of this fear. But there is no reason to be embarrassed. It’s perfectly normal for men to get an erection during a non-sexual, therapeutic massage. Gentle touch administered to any area of the body can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and cause a partial or full erection. Your massage therapist (male or female) understands this and will generally ignore it. If you are still worried, you may wish to wear a men’s bikini bathing suit during the massage, which provides more support than boxers.

How do I know if it’s a legitimate clinic?

Although you might think massage parlors that offer sensual or erotic massage may look obviously seedy, it can sometimes be difficult to spot these places. If you’re trying a new clinic or spa, it’s a good idea to call first and ask these questions:

  • Do you offer therapeutic massage?
  • Is the massage therapist certified or licensed?
  • Do you require a health questionnaire of your clients?

The pressure isn’t deep enough, but I don’t want to insult the therapist’s technique. What should I do?

Communicate openly with the massage therapist. Keep in mind however that it’s a myth that massage therapy has to hurt to be effective. Some of the most effective types of massage therapy are gentle and do not involve deep pressure or pain. In fact, too much pressure can cause muscles to seize up. Here is a good rule of thumb — on a scale of one to ten where one is no pain and ten is extremely painful, the pressure should always be less than seven.

I’m self-conscious about a certain part of my body and don’t want the therapist to see me. What can I do?

People are self-conscious for various reasons. Some of the more common concerns are:

  • I’m overweight.
  • I have excessive hair growth on my body.
  • I’ve got acne on my face or back.
  • My feet are ugly.
  • I have scars.

Being self-conscious should never keep you from seeking health care, whether it’s visiting your doctor or seeing a massage therapist.

I’d rather see a female therapist. Should I request this?

Some men don’t feel comfortable having a massage by a male massage therapist. It may be due to outdated social and media stereotypes of the profession or the fear of getting an erection during the massage.

Some women also prefer a female massage therapist because they say they feel more comfortable.

This doesn’t just apply to massage therapy. A University of Michigan study found that 43 percent of women preferred a female doctor for a colonoscopy. Of these women, 87 percent said they would be willing to wait more than 30 days to get an appointment with a female colonoscopist, and 14 percent would be willing to pay more for one.

That’s why I believe it’s important to challenge your preconceptions. Here are some tips to help you:

  • If you see other practitioners in the clinic or spa, ask if you could meet the massage therapist before you book the appointment.
  • Try booking a massage at a health club or a clinic, where there’s usually a higher percentage of male clientele and staff.
  • You may wish to start with an active form of massage, such as deep massage or sports massage, or a type of massage that is done fully clothed, such as shiatsu or Thai massage.

Massage and Weight Loss

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Weight Loss and Bodywork | Helping You Meet Your Goals
By Genevieve P. Charet

Originally published in Body Sense magazine, Spring/Summer 2010. Copyright 2010. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals. All rights reserved.

Massage–anything this good must be fattening, right? Wrong! Scientists now confirm what massage therapists have always known: massage can be a powerful and effective weight-loss tool. By improving your body’s resilience, aiding muscle nutrition and flexibility, and supporting your mental and emotional well-being, massage can take your weight-loss plan to a whole new level.

The relationship between massage and weight loss is the result of many subtle improvements working together, including better injury prevention and healing.

Jeff Wooten, founder of YourBodyMechanic.com, explains: “Massage helps to heal existing injuries by breaking down scar tissue and other adhesions. This creates a more functional muscle and improves joint integrity.” Massage therapists also work to improve your flexibility and range of motion. This makes you less likely to hurt yourself, meaning more productive and pain-free hours in the gym. But the benefits don’t end there.

When you receive a massage, you’re directly impacting the circulatory system. By constantly moving blood to body tissues, your massage therapist increases the amount of oxygen and nutrients your muscles receive. This soothing cycle eases you into much-needed rest and relaxation time.

Deneen Rhode, a massage therapy instructor who teaches fitness classes, says, “The qualitative style of Swedish massage relaxes the nervous system and takes the body into what is known as the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic state is very restorative to the body–it is where the body needs to go to heal itself.” When you accomplish this through massage, it means you’ll need less recovery time between workouts and that you can move your fitness routine full speed ahead.

Jeff Mann, the regional manager for Cortiva Institute Schools of Massage Therapy, knows this firsthand. With experience as both a massage therapist and personal trainer, he has seen the way massage can help clients drop pounds and keep them off. “Massage to weight loss is like the padding on a steering wheel–you can do without it, but it makes it a lot easier and more comfortable to hang on to.”

Make It Work For You

Losing weight isn’t easy. Thankfully, it’s simple to incorporate massage into the healthy lifestyle you’re building. It’s a good idea to have a special consultation with your massage therapist about your new goals and fitness plan so that treatments can be customized to your body’s specific needs.

Meredith Nathan, director of massage at Pulling Down the Moon in Chicago, says there are some specific questions you should be prepared to answer. For example, “If you’re following an exercise routine, how has it affected your body? Are there any particular areas of tension or discomfort? Where do you tend to gain weight first? How is your digestive health? Is your lifestyle relaxed or stressful?” The more information you can provide your therapist, the better your results will be–and this extends to your medical history. During your intake process, inform your massage therapist about any health problems, surgeries, medications, and even recent minor illnesses you’ve had. Anything your doctor needs to know, your massage therapist needs to know as well.

”Generally, massage on a healthy [client] should be no more that 90 minutes; 60 minutes is the most common,” Rhode says. Weekly massages are ideal, but you can reap plenty of benefits from monthly visits, too. Your massage therapist will work with you to set a specific schedule of appointments that fits with your workout routine, as well as your finances. Don’t be concerned if your MT wants to see you more often at the beginning of your plan–this is normal, and helps him or her to get to know your body’s way of handling stress and exertion.

Don’t Be Shy

While it’s natural for anyone to feel a little self-conscious at first about undressing for a massage, overweight clients often have major anxieties about disrobing. If you’ve put off massage therapy because you’re embarrassed about your body shape, take heart: massage therapists are sensitive to your concerns and don’t want you to feel ashamed. Thom Lobe, MD, founder and director of Beneveda Medical Group in Beverly Hills, says, “Massage therapists are just that–therapists. They are used to seeing all shapes, sizes, and conditions of the body. A well-trained massage therapist has an entirely clinical perspective, no different than any other health-care worker. The fact is, when I give a massage…what the body looks like isn’t even in my conscious thoughts.”

Throughout the course of a massage, clients are discretely draped under a sheet, with the therapist only uncovering the body part being worked on. Of course, you can always wear swim attire or undergarments during your massage, although they can hamper the full therapeutic effects your therapist offers. Remember, rest easy in the knowledge that your massage therapist has been trained to nurture and help you without passing judgment. Nathan adds that massage therapists “do not expect to work on bodies that are already in perfect health; rather, we get excited about supporting our client’s journey toward better health.”

The Power of Touch

While it’s easy to overlook your emotional health when planning a new diet and exercise regimen, it’s the primary factor determining your weight-loss success. Along the path to fitness, the role of massage in supporting your mental and emotional health may be a critical component. Massage is a calorie-free reward; a way to treat yourself without guilt. Your massage therapist also acts as a cheerleader who celebrates your victories with you and helps keep you positive and committed.

“The more professionals you have on the team, the better,” Wooten says. “The worst thing to do, in most cases, is attempt to get into shape on your own.” Adding a massage therapist to your weight-loss plan is a great way to tell yourself just how serious you are about taking this step.

Massage is a powerful way to love, respect, and nurture yourself. When you love yourself, you won’t engage in unhealthy lifestyle choices. Rhode calls this “the power of touch”–the unique ability that touch has to make us feel safe, comfortable, and at peace. “Very often, those who are obese or overweight become less social and isolate themselves. They become disconnected from others. They may experience less touch in their lives in general,” Rhode says. This disconnect continues a downward spiral of low self-worth and unhealthy living. Massage is a great way to fill in that gap and rebuild a healthy life from the ground up. “I’ve learned that there are no perfect bodies,” Nathan says. “All bodies are unique and have unique needs. All bodies deserve to be nurtured.”

Regular massage is all about reconnecting with your body and getting back into yourself. As you continue to take time out to relax and care for your body through regular appointments, you’ll naturally become more aware of your body’s needs and more motivated to meet them. It’s all part of a greater picture of health and fitness, one that Wooten says, “is a journey, and not a destination.”

Your massage therapist wants to help you build a bridge between mind and body that will last a lifetime. So update your massage from guilty pleasure status to indispensable health habit, and reap the benefits in the form of a fitter, happier you. You’ve earned it.

Genevieve P. Charet is a Chicago-based freelance writer, copy consultant, and food blogger. To read more about her, visit www.genevievecharet.com.

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